#329: Eviction ejected, Left woes, Self-determination law

Two schoolkids attacked in F-Hain

Proof I was in Mecklenburg Western Pommerania. Photo: Me

Hey 20 Percent!

And we’re off — last week I piloted my VW about an hour-and-a-half north to take my Einbürgerungstest (naturalization test) in Neubrandenburg, which is inexplicably in the state of Mecklenburg–Western Pomerania. It was the only place I could get an appointment before New Years.

The village is nestled among idyllic rolling hills but as I got nearer I was a bit aghast — the roling hills are replaced by acre upon acre of brutish Plattenbauten buildings, which ruined any idyllicness. I felt as if Germany were asking me one last time, “You sure you want this? This is what you’re marrying into.”

And the trip itself was also an example of the absurd inefficiency of this country we call home. The test was a 33-question multiple choice situation that took all of 8 minutes. I drove 90 minutes for that? There should instead be a dedicated computer somehwere in Tiergarten where we all sit down and crank through the thing before swabbing our fingers with disinfectant and heading off for a Döner.

And now the results (mailed, of course) will take up to a month. Bitte was? No worry, I still have to take a language test and finish assembling a stack of documents that will make even the most seasoned bureaucrat blush — I know how to play their game.

I’m hoping to be German in time for the September elections — call it American optimism.

The weather will be warm this weekend. Maybe take a break from the Vitamin D supplements.

Andrew

PS: I (and this newsletter) was featured in Issue 2 of Späti Stories, a new newsletter about Hauptstadt inhabitants. Go read about me!

Manne gets to stay where he always has

Sometimes you wonder how the lawyers behind a lawsuit can even sleep at night, especially when they’re trying to deny someone the right to sleep somewhere they’ve always slept at night. A Berlin court Tuesday rejected the eviction of 85-year-old Manfred “Manne” Moslehner from the Reinickendorf row house he’s lived in for decades, according to taz. Manne was even born in the subdivision but investors bought the buildings from Berlin in 2010 and want to rennovate to hike up the rent. The investors sought the eviction because Manne had refused to allow the upgrades, saying he couldn’t afford the related rent increase on his €1,000-per-month pension. A judge sided with Manne, saying the investors must consider his frail condition — or, you know, just be human.

Reactionaries gonna reactionary

One of the strengths of the far-left Die Linke has been its ability to lose members — and this week the Berlin chapter lost five of its most prominent members after refusing to ratify a statement against antisemitism. Klaus Lederer, a former culture senator who championed swift and simple Covid payments to freelancers during the pandemic, as well as former urban development senator Sebastian Scheel are among the five. The group also expressed disappointment that the Berlin chapter refused to show solidarity with Ukraine. The most prominent defector from the party on a national level is Sahra Wagenknecht, who left the party in 2023 and started her own namesake ̶c̶u̶l̶t̶ party, with a questionable platform.

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Suspect sought in hammer attack

Two 15-year-old girls in Berlin on a class trip were attacked in their Friedrichshain hotel room by a man with a hammer Tuesday, according to Tagesspiegel. One was admitted to hospital while the other was treated for superficial wounds. The man followed the victims to their room from the lobby before attacking them — one was able to flee and get help. The attacker was able to flee and police provided no description of the man.

🇩🇪 Germany-wide news 🇩🇪

🌲 A Hamburg initiative that forced more green

❄️ You could order pizza and blow

👩🏽‍🏫 Merging Germany’s intellectual TV channels

Factoid

More than 1,200 Berliners have taken advantage of a new self-determination law and have applied to change their name or gender in their IDs, according to RBB. The new law was passed in April and goes into effect Nov. 1 and allows people to change their name or gender with little red tape — a previous law required two written psychiatric appraisals or a legal ruling to change the gender to “male”, “female” or “diverse”. Applications must be submitted three months in advance.