#295: Berlin's not as full as we thought
Plus setting off on my citizenship journey. Wish me luck!
Dear 20 Percent!
It’s now legal — Germany’s immigration reform went into effect Thursday and the country now permits foreigners to gain German citizenship and retain their initial citizenship, opening the door to hundreds of thousands of new Germans. It’s also now easier to become German.
I’ve sort of started the process — I’ll head up to Volkshochschule Reinickendorf early next week in hopes of getting an appintment to take the citizenship test in September (probably too optimistic). I’m also researching schools in nearby Brandenburg.
I also have to get my flighty accountant to fill out a form that says I earn enough to qualify for citizenship — as a freelancer for decades I don’t have payslips to prove my solvency.
I’m trying to approach it all slowly and deliberately so that I don’t get so frustrated that I just move back to the US to avoid it — after the presidential debate last night that seems … unadvisable.
Have a good weekend, y’all! This is the weather that reminds us of why we live here (as long as we’re not riding a stinky, overfilled U-Bahn).
Andrew
Want something to do between the footie Saturday night? Scottish Comedian Chris Davis and I are splitting an hour and each doing 30 minutes of standup comedy at 8pm at Comedy Cafe Berlin in Neukölln. Tickets €10.
Fewer people actually live here, which is bad
We all already knew German efficiency was a myth but it turns out their statistics skills may be wanting too: A 2022 census shows that 1.4 million fewer people live in Germany than estimated, including 1 million fewer foreigners (ergo: us), according to Tagesschau. The census shows Berlin has 128,651 fewer residents than previously believed, which is problematic because the figures are used to divvy up tax proceeds (Berlin will now get €500,000,000 less). We’re already deep in the red, forcing our city-state to cancel orders for new emergency vehicles, delay renovations to athletic facilities and slash social progams. The original estimates were based on registrations with local authorities and are skewed because people forget to deregister when leaving Berlin or Germany, or change their registration when they move.
Protected toads losing homes for our homes
Worried they’ll build on Tempelhof and you’ll lose your fave jogging/kiteskating/datewalking route? A protected species of toad will lose its whole home and a handful of garden alottment owners their gardens to make way for the Pankower Tor development on the northeast edge of Berlin, according to taz. You may know the site because of the trademark derelict roundhouse whose roof you see while speeding past on the A114. 315 rare Kreuzkröten (natterjack toads) will be moved to a custom-built environment just a few hops away on the site of a Schrebergartenkolonie (collection of garden plots). The current garden residents are also being evicted as part of the development. The 27 hectare Pankower Tor site will include 2,000 apartments, two daycares, some schools and a furniture store (and certainly more than a handful of dms).
One killed during Turkey victory celebration
Okay, so loud, speeding cars within the city limits is a pet peeve of mine but it’s also fatal for far too many — a 67-year-old man was killed by a speeding Mercedes late Thursday in Neukölln as fans celebrated Turkey’s 2:1 win over Chechia, according to Tagesspiegel. The car was likely part of a celebratory motorcade traveling down Hermannstrasse and was driving so fast that it sped underneath the victim after the collision. The 26-year-old driver initially fled but later turned himself into the police. A women was killed last month after a driver lost control of his BMW at high speed on Tauentzienstrasse in Charlottenburg.
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Germany-wide news
🧑🏼🤝🧑🏾 People still moving to Germany, but not like in the past
📊 Number of antisemitic attacks up sharply
📰 102-year-old holocaust survivor as cover star
⚭ German divorce rate lowest since 1990.
Factoid
Die Dicke Marie (Fat Mary) is Berlin’s oldest resident with an estimated date of birth in 1237 that makes her about as old as our city-state itself. The 787-year-old oak tree was supposedly even visited by German poet and philosopher extrodinaire Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. She can be found in the Tegeler forest in northwest Berlin near the former airport of similar name.
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Careful on the antisemitism "attacks" number of 4,782. They use the very broad IHRA definition, which includes criticism of Israel and anti-zionism. All pro-Palestinian protests are also systematically qualified as attacks. And 1/5 of the 4,782 happened entirely online.
The number reasonable people care about are the ones relating to serious matters regarding life or property:
"The recorded incidents included seven cases of what RIAS referred to as “extreme violence,” defined as life-threatening attacks, including an attack on a Berlin synagogue with Molotov cocktails in October that shocked and alarmed much of the city’s Jewish community. RIAS also recorded 121 attacks, 329 cases of property damage and 183 threats."
I signed up for Einburgerungstest two hrs away from Berlin, it’s supposed to be in August and i signed up early June. Now I need to find a B1 test and then im ready to join the thousands applying this year. I give it 18 months.